to Min

yesterday we was early celebration Min 21 years old birthday to him...

He was drank yesterday...

He had some problem with his girl friend...

hope he has none thing with his girl friend...

Min~ we will always beside you...

this is i wanna try to say to Min...

民~21岁咯~！

有好多话想跟你说，

却不知怎么说。。。

或许我和你有些代沟，

或许我时常和你意见不合，

或许你偶尔会不爽我，

或许。。。这只是或许。。。

我希望。。。这只是或许。。。

我希望找回我们当初的感动，

当初很单纯的友情，

和。。。当初的。。。你。。。

我也知道我很有问题。。。

嗯。。。我就是很有问题。。。

先这样长话短说吧。。。

祝

生日快乐

友情

不是挂在嘴上的

而是

放在心上的

遗憾，愧疚，感谢

抱歉。。这次得用回华语来写了。。

我英文的表达能力还没有很好。。。

刚刚11点左右伦他们来找我。。。

原来他们是来送我礼物的。。。

把礼物藏在枕头下。。。

吓到了。。真的吓到了。。。

许多朋友的祝福。。。

还有一笔钱。。。

朋友。。。我收到你们的礼物了。。

很大的礼物。。。

但。。。原谅我没办法收下。。。

我真的没办法收下。。。

我会将它还给你们。。。

你们的[礼物]和祝福。。。

我心领了。。。

真的很感动，很感谢你们。。。

真的。。真的。。

我不太会说话。。不太会表达。。

现在心里的心情真的是不会说。。

遗憾，愧疚，感谢。。等。。。

我一直都在依赖你们。。

什么都需要依靠你们。。

出门要你们从大老远的地方来载我；

什么东西都要你们做；

什么东西都要麻烦你们；

在圈子里我是最容不下你们的人。。

我早已对你们有所愧疚。。

不知道怎样报答你们。。

特别是伦。。。

现在你们知道我需要一笔钱。。。

又帮我筹了这笔钱。。

一共$620

你们要我怎么收下。。。

我欠你们的已经太多太多。。。

你要我怎样利用这笔钱来买那相机呢。。。

突然会觉得。。

我回来读书。。。是个错的决定。。。

envy...

went to ate with all family just now...

for grandmother birthday..

suddenly think it...

Did mom was still remember when is my birthday...

There near sea site...

had seen two guys using DSLR camera took photo of sunset just now...

felt...

envy...

anxiety...

1 week ago

My Birthday was 1 week ago...

But i was never forgot that day...

i'm so happy...

Thanks all my best brother...

Photography of next week have a out door shooting for sunrise...

but i still have not borrowed money to buy camera...

i have not any method...

i will ask my mom again for lend to me at least 2k...

hope she can lend to me...

i got a car license for what?!

was went to working just now 9.30p.m..
but i came back 10.oo p.m..
cause the raining is too heavy...

i was got wet on the way just now...
now i'm so moody...

don't know why...
i have car license...
but why i can't get drive car...
the car of my house is an antique?!
why i can't touch the car...
then i got a car license for what?!

my birthday wishes

Yesterday is my 21years old birthday...
my best friends celebrated to me...
play until crazy...
that is a good memories...XD
Guys~ Thanks you all...
you all are my Brother~
i will won't forget it...

for My Birthday Wishes~
1. I would like a car.
2. I would like to be a rich man.
3. Academic success.
4. I would like a dream house.
5. Friendship Forever with all my dear friends.
6. Have a LOVE.
7. 'Trouble' please leave me alone.
8. Have a good job after graduation .
9. Don't be a stupid again.
10. I wanna fat ==

actually i still have a lot of wishes...
too much of things i didn't get it...

waiting 12.00 a.m

waiting 12.00 a.m coming...
tomorrow is my 21 years old Birthday...
who will know it...
my mom is still remember it?
...forget about it...
i just don't want homework, assignment, trouble and pressure birthday with me...

wish me...
..Happy Birthday..

you never

S**k!
i was really hated my sister so much!

i already have my own laptop now...
so i was very seldom to using the destop right now...

but just now...
my sister was crazy scold me again...
because the destop was running too slower...
she's scold me put too much of things in destop...
said me wasted the Ram and memory...

What the F**k!?
i already move my things to my laptop...
just leave some software and references in my user to easy for some time i will used to done my work...
because laptop of course won't handy than destop to do a work...

she said i already having a laptop...
so she want to delete my user of destop...
she was really wanna occupy the destop...

this computer is mom bought for us to share use...
she has never wasted a penny of money for this computer...
but she wanna alone has to get this computer...

how about me?!
i waste my time, i waste my spirit, i waste my sleep time and else...
i work hard and study...
have not enough time to do my home work and not enough sleep...
now just hard to got a laptop...
and now i'm still trouble about my DSLR camera...

she has a job and can get the salary more than RM1500...
but she just waste her money to her own..
every things ask mom to buy and always say this is for easy to do this do that...
then mom was also heard to her said...

mom was always believe her and not believe me...
WHY?
sis she is selfish, domineering, cunning and else...
but you just always support her and believe her and always keep quiet when i quarrel with her!

to Sis..
You go to Hell! I really hate you so much!


Mom...
you never know Why i dislike stay at home...
you never know Why i dislike talk with you all...
you never know Why i always keep quiet at home...
you never know Why i always hiding my own in room...
you never know Why my attitude be come like that...
you never know What i'm thinking...
you never know me...
You never... ...


...i just wanna vent my emotions in here...

search sas

2k

a lot of homework...
i will very busy this few days...
but i was still worry about my money...
who can lend to me money...
i need minimum 2k now...

Yesterday

yesterday i had din't did well in English test of Spoken English...
i think i will get fail of this subject...
i'm still weak in my English...
i really won't follow and got what that's saying...

what wrong with me yesterday?
what happen with me yesterday?

i was still troubled in something...
i was still worry about something...
i was still...
did not got money...

yesterday i had felt a bit crazy...
yesterday i had felt a bit lazy...
yesterday i had felt don't study...
yesterday i was moody...

Yesterday...

反正。。。

为什么我做的一切从没得到支持。。。
为什么我在你眼中永远都是错的。。。

你永远只会要我考虑你但你从未考虑过我。。
你不懂我。。你不了解我。。 你不知道我需要什么。。
你眼里只看得到我的坏。。从没发掘我的好。。
你从不知道你的教育有问题。。

如果我真的是那么没用。。让你苦恼。。
那你当初就别生我。。！
把我生出来受苦。。我活着一点也不快乐。。！

为什么我就是跟别人家的小孩过的不一样。。
他们也并非出自富裕家庭。。。
但他们的父母都会给他们一定的支持和鼓励。。。
而我。。。

算了。。。
反正我的命一生下来就是这样。。。

rich family

is Moody many days already...
cause trouble about the camera...

Yesterday went to school...
classmate was chatting about the camera..
i'm so envy they have a rich family...
they just ask their parents...
they will easy have a camera...
moreover they have a well camera...
some have Nikon D5000 or Nikon D90...
that price is around 3k to 4k just for body...
so expensive...

i think i just can have Nikon D3000...
it is around 2k just for body...
it's have not include the lens...
the price for lens is around 1k...

my mom have no more money to lent to me...
she was also won't let me buy it...
she was not understand this subject is including in Diploma Multimedia Design..
so...
i did not ask her any more...

from beginning...
she was din't like me took this subject...
now i want spent her money again..
she's sure won't pay me..

anyway...
now i just have two choice..
1. i just let this subject fail then retake again.
2. borrow money from my friends .

i choose second..
but now is still have not body lent to me..

just thinking... what methods i can i do again...
just hope...
i have a rich family...

GPA 2.87

Finally, i got the Examination Results of Semester 1...
I got 16 unit for last Semester, and my GPA is 2.87...
Sad... my target is up than 3.0 ...

**********
Grade Point
A --------4.00
A- -------3.67
B+ -------3.33
B --------3.00
B- ------ 2.67
C+ ------2.33
C --------2.00
C- -------1.67
D+ ------ 1.33
D -------1.00
F --------0.00

Drop or Take

Finally, i told my mom just now...
"Can i borrow around 3-4k with you to buy DSLR camera ?......"
but my mom answer me...
" how come she has this money?! "
she's din't have too much of money...
i already wasted her money too much...
so...
how can i do now...?
Drop or Take?
how can i attend this class if i don't have camera...
HOW.......
who can help me....

今夜的月亮不是很圆，但很亮。。。
忧郁的心情再次涌上心头。。。
连睡的心情都没有。。。
此刻的心情。。。
。。。