Mom ~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY

21 October

my mom birthday today..

i had never said " happy birthday " to my mom before ...

now...

i'm still did not face to face said " happy birthday " to you..

please forgive me never gave you present ...

but i really remember your birthday...

although i'm busy this few day...

I got it

Finally ~ i got it~!

i got my DSLR camera...

i just can bought Nikon D3000

but i just bought the body and tripot...

i had not bought the lens...

cause it is too expensive...

i have no more money...

this camera already RM 2000..

anyway...

thanks all my friends~

and my mom...

to Shen

8.01 pm..

Shen posted his facebook message ...

he said like that --

给我最想念的人-我的遗憾-我能见到您最后一眼，但您见不到我...我一直握住您的手，感觉到您手是冷冰冰的，我感觉不到手温了...我也忘了你的手温...很抱歉，我没去握您的手十多年了...当时我很努力的叫着您，我很想您能挣开您的眼，看见我叫我一声，我定会回应您“我回来了”...我一直的在自问“为何您不等到我回来哦”，至少我能看见您，您那希望我们快回家的眼神，我好想再看一次然后对您说“我回来了，你吃饱没？”，很抱歉，您还在时我都没对您说过这句话...请原谅我的不孝。

给我最想念的人-我想对您说出我的真心话-之前我对您有些讨厌，恨您，怀疑您所作的所说的一切，让我有些难原谅您...但这些都是过去的了，当天的我真的真的好希望您能醒来的，我一躺在您心上，我 想听见您心跳声，心里一直想“跳呀，跳呀”，因为我还有很多话还没对您说，我很想很想说给您听...说出我其实不恨您，不讨厌您...其实我心是很关心 您，还是爱着您，您是我的唯一,您要照顾好自己要长命，完成您的心愿，看见我们个个成家，做个很疼孙的公公...但...为何为何您要酱快走...我之前 都没想，但我现在真的好想您...我真的很后悔，当天我眼泪流出不只是伤心的流而是我很后悔我没对您说出我心中的话，您就酱留下我们，不陪我们一起走 了...我不会怪您了，也许这真的是您时间到了...现在我不能为您做什么，所以只能希望您现在是安详的，不再有任何的负担，没有任何病魔缠着您，安心得 过您的极乐世界...我们都很爱着您的，安息吧... --

i reply him...

--

深~虽然我们没办法替代他在你心中的位置，但我们永远都会陪伴着你。他，虽然不在你身边，但你比我们谁都清楚，他，在你心中，永远永远。。你要振作！别忘了你还有你妈要照顾，而你。。就由我们来照顾！别忘了我们的大哥说过，他的一边肩膀是给他女人的；而另一边是给我们兄弟的。。原谅我是最无能的。。永远只会麻烦你们。。却从未帮过你们。。

funeral

just came back from Shen father funeral...

Shen looked like not very well...

hoop Shen don't give up...

you are our '开心果'...

we are all always be side you...

any problem just tell us...

some more...

Loon also looked sad...

i know you are missing your '干妈'...

... ...

i had not in that photo

this is my friends artworks and their photo for just now they went to took photo of outing night scene...

but i din't went to...

that's why i had not in that photo...

i don't want say again why i din't went to...

anyway...

nick job for my friends...

but ...

i don't know how to do that...

6.45pm

6.45pm now...

i had a photography class at 6.30pm for outdoor shutting now...

but i din't went...

cause i have not a camera...

可以吗

this week really get tired...

had not off day of my working..

moreover on the same time i was rushing my assignment...

felt like going to die...

tomorrow i will have a photographic class at night to taken photo of night scene...

but i have not a camera...

all of my classmate was already got their camera...

i had asked my mom to lend to me $1500 last week..

but until today she is still have not response...

i knew she was not very willing to lend to me money...

i also know she is busy...

so i never disturb her...

but i really need it tomorrow..

if not...

how to i learning in class or do assignment...

she always just keep ask me to borrow from my friends...

but she never know what happening will going on...

my friends were already gave me $600 and more as my present...

mom...

did u knew it?

if you knew it...

what your felling...

我不懂为什么。。。

为什么我会牵涉到那么多人。。。

我真的不想麻烦大家。。。

没想到我读书尽然会影响大家。。。

谢谢大家的帮忙。。。

但。。我还是还没买到。。。

我的成绩也没有很好。。。

反而渐渐输了好多人。。。

好想。。。不读了。。。

可以吗。。？

如果活着那么累。。。

为什么还要活着。。。

off day

next week will be a busy time...

assignment due date will coming on next week..

but i have not get a off day for next week...

sure get tired and crazy again..

weak art sense

I'm sad now...

next week is assignment due date...

i haven complete my assignment...

and still have a lot of home work...

just now lecturer said my art sense is still weak...

and she look unhappy to me...

i still have to keep working until monday...

tired, trouble and sad now...