my life have no choice

I was so tired..
i was back to home at 5am after i finished worked yesterday..
my neighbor saw me back and felt curious..
she told me don't be too late to sleep and better change a job..
but..
i told her..
because of the salary is more higher..
she said day and night reversed is no good for me when i be old..
i did not answered back to her...
cause i know what i am thinking and what i am doing...


i know my life is hard..
i know i do not like this kind of life..
but...
i have no choice..
because i am not a rich guy..
i just can earn money for myself and do or buy what i want..

i am planing to buy..
a car
hand phone
Mac Book
camera equipments
... ...
and etc..
sound like a lot of things to buy..
but i really need it..

the most important to me now is Car.
i know it is hard to buy as now i am just working a part time job.
my mom do not allow me to drive my father's car..
so i must buy for myself..
she never know Car is how important for me now..
never think of me..

i don't like to talk too much to those people they always asking me why i seems like very tired and get like a old men..
i just can said..
you don't know my life..

i know how tired to my body is getting..
but i still have to do it..
my life have no choice..

我不希望我活得老；
我只希望我活得好。

loss of control

what is the feeling to me for this few days..
felt so strange..
was long time have not this feeling..

loss of control..

how can i do...

don't know why...
i seems like more and more tired..
felt can't do well on my study.. assignments..
the courses are harder than semester before..

how can i do...

what can i do...